Ordeal

My lungs seem to collapse

Cavity feels bogged down

Maybe neurosis, can be disorder

I pick up this inanimate intimate.

Infinite pages welcome me in

Slumber or otherwise, to rescue

From the ridiculing, their criticism

Or my own eternal confinement.

This realm, this race undermines

My apprehensions, my shudders...

Dodging which is herculeanly futile

Doesn't alter my palpitations.

Waking to airless nightmares

Unable to block traumatic images

Rotting, flesh eating bugs, nausea

Lingering sensations so real.

I am a hapless toddler there

Shrinking quickly into timidness

I want to run to you, into your arms

Echoes of, 'who the fuck cares' , rings!

I contemplate the other end left far off

Conked in own personal horrors, but

Countless scorchings, innumerable scorns

Endless toxicity looms making me cower.

For now I document on the blankness

I won't remember any of this

I would have buried them in one of those dark chambers, not to relive ever.

For now, I lull this racing heart.